The Gift of Pleasure

‘Tis the Season…right? The struggle of gift-giving for holiday pleasure is still here. Whether to go all out or to be sensible? Who do we focus on bringing holiday pleasure to and who would be okay if we simply gave them more time, more attention, or more distance …space? 

The tradition of gift-giving can also be considered the ultimate season of giving intentional pleasure in a time when so many are still seeking it. How awesome does it feel to gift another the joy of pleasure? The smile of the perfect gift on the receiver. The relief and pride of the gift-giver. Joy to the world!

And yet… I wonder how often -during this season and any other time of year- do we actually accept the gift of pleasure so readily? 

No, I am not just talking about receiving boxed, bowed, or blessed physical gifts. As a spiritually-integrated life coach (and marriage and family therapy specialist, a chaplain, and minister), I am offering a reminder that pleasure is a gift to be enjoyed and is never needed to be earned… in sensuality, through sexuality, and even beyond the bedroom.

I know, I know. Cheeks are clinched, pearls are clutched, and my faith may now be questioned. Take a deep cleansing breath. Relax those suddenly tightened muscles. Stay with me for a moment longer. 

Truth is, many people experience or have experienced pleasure as shameful, unsafe, guilt-ridden, and merit-based. Receiving pleasure has become something anxiety-producing, trauma-activating or conditional. Ever had a hard time allowing yourself pleasure- like intentional self-care, rest without explanation, positive affirmations, intimacy or moments of calm -thinking that somehow it is selfish, too risky, or a moral failing to center your own human desire to feel ….good?

You are not alone. Or, you do not have to be. Plenty of folks have caught messages that reflect the idea that holding pain is somehow more honorable and more safe than embodying pleasure. These messages may turn into a constant working for achievement, a ceaseless seeking of perfection, or a continuous avoidance of people, places and things that feel good. 

You do not have to be alone in the struggle of your own pleasure-receiving season. What if, instead of struggle, we treated pleasure as an opportunity to build the capacity to feel well, to be well, to expect wellness without needing to perform?

Hey. I am Coach Rev. Robin Kay and I would be honored to invite you on the journey and challenge to accept pleasure through coaching [or therapy] services. For more information, please visit https://www.strongrootscenter.com/robinkay-monk